The Second Half of My Life

OK...so I turned 40. Big whup. maybe.

I really grieved as it happened.

I don't know why...but I've spent my entire life dreading the moment that it would happen. So, as it occurred...I dreaded it. Then all the wise ones who have gone before me said things like..."It only gets better" and "Embrace your Maturity".

So, I made a decision to Embrace it...and look forward to the better things that are yet to come....and I haven't been too disappointed yet!

The Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Day

So...I was a grouch today.

My kids both had friends over.

My husband was glued to the Olympics.

I was doing laundry, dishes, cleaning up clothes and shoes that had played in the mud, tried to read the book that I'm teaching on Wednesday nights, thought about studying for my test on Friday....and all I really wanted to do was buy a cold Coca-Cola and drink it til I was drunk. OK....I can't get drunk on Coca Cola....but I would probably have some feelings of escaping from all of this as I drank it.

So instead I griped at my husband....and vented to him....maybe it was on him...I'm not sure....

But that was when I realized I was in need of a time out...so I took one and read...

then later I took one and watched "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days".

Both helped tremendously....and then my sister called....and reminded me to BLOG!

So here it is....I'm vomiting it out here...it really does help....but so did talking to my sister.

Thanks Julie!

DC Talk is forever burned in my brain....

"What if I stumble? And what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?" ~DC Talk

These lyrics have been rolling around in my head lately...

What if I do stumble?
What if I do fall?
What if I do make fools of us all?

Another question that I have been asking lately is, "What leads to the stumble or fall?" How can I guard against this?

I refuse to live such a careful life that I become unapproachable for those who feel that they can never measure up. But what if my desire to be "real" causes me to slide to a place of indifference....which I believe could lead to the stumble.

Or am I wrong? Does the stumble take place a different way?

I've just known too many people that have stumbled.

And it scares me...

"You've Got Mail"

Kathleen Kelly: [in an email to Joe Fox] "The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings."

I often think about blogging/email/facebook in this way....but it seems so true....